i'm sick of trying to come up with good titles so this entry doesn't get one

i'm sick of all of this. god it's excruciating. it's deeper than "anxiety", it's my entire being. life just seems like a big tease, like i'm some god forsaken rat on a plastic wheel. i hate it. the whole thing is a big steaming pile of shit. i hate sorority girls and fraternity guys and their matching sunglasses and their blinding arrogance. goddamn them all. sometimes i wish i'd wake up and auburn would be engulfed in flames, preferably one saturday during football season. this town, this state, this country is smothering me. i hate the fact that right now i could be making a decent living, married to randall, and relatively happy, but instead im spending 14 hours a week in bullshit classes, stressed out, working only about 12 hours a week and bored and annoyed out of my skull. i dont have time for fun, i dont even know how to have fun anymore. whats with this world? why do we think this is what life is about? it's a bunch of SHIT! i'm sick of commercials telling you how to make more money and be more successful and lose weight the easy way... why can't we just get off our fucking asses and do something for a change. im really pissed off. maybe im manic, maybe im stressed out... im sick of the lables, ironically enough, psychology can't save me. i'm a logical freethinker with 20 year old mind thats sick and fucking tired of everything i see. i dont know whats gonna happen in my life and i know i shouldnt worry because it will work out, but thats a load of shit at the same time because you have to DO something for something to HAPPEN. and well im in this whole mess of being at a school thats a big joke because the two words that sum it up are football and tigers, which any nitwit knows has nothing to do with education, and basically being miserable with the fact that ive got a big polished boot stepping on my head everyday, reminding me that 4 to 5 years from now i will JUST be starting a real career. hooray. lets be real fucking happy about that. while all these jackasses guzzle their beers and fondle themselves i'm drowning in these life-draining thoughts.

every waking moment of my life i spend like a caged animal, misguidedly spinning my wheel.