a prayer

there's an aura of understanding all around us, proving the existence of God. when nothing in this entire world can fill the void that's left from lack of sustaining love, something keeps us holding on to that bare thread that seems like it's going to snap any moment. this "something" is God, without a doubt. what else, who else, could possibly give us this feeling. even when i feel like God is so distant there's no way i could feel His presence, i'm completely shown up. even in the saddest of poems and songs of life's dispairity and worthlessness, God is in there, crying out to us that there is meaning and there is life and not to worry because this was not intentional, the way things are. He meant so much more and oh how i do believe that God desires for us to live and not just exist but mostly we are just existing. my heart cries out over and over again and to who else but someone who could understand. this hype about "God is dead" is nonsense. we are afraid of a God who knows and loves us only because we feel He will judge us and set up rules for us, like society does. but this is not God. this is man's flawed opinion of God. oh how i am so certain of the existence of a God who wants nothing more than life for his children. i believe it so deeply that i feel i could dive right into it. there's nothing more powerful than the love of perfection. NOTHING i tell you. this world has no hold on us. we will all wither and die and why are we afraid when there is something drawing us in like a magnet of a strength unimaginable our entire lives through? LIFE thats what i want. real life. the pain gets so unbearable in our lives and what do we do, we look to the world for answers. maybe some niccotine or a razor blade will ease the pain. but no, He says, my CHILD i won't forsake you like your earthly parents have. i am so much more. i LOVE you. do you KNOW what love is, dear child? but we don't. we watch romance movies and idolize marriage, sex, and passion. we see love as a sense of security in money. but this sense is BROKEN! this world is falling to its knees at an unmatchable rate. God is love - not sex, not money - but God. i'm tired of going through life without an ounce of life in me. there is much more. much much much more and i KNOW this because God created us for something more than this cheapened version of truth we get from a world driven by greed and hate. our hearts need contentedness and love - only found in Him. we need something that absolutely none of us deserve - forgiveness. heal me, God. please, heal US. you are everywhere. i'm simply amazed and without real words to back up these feelings that are unlike anything i feel for earthly "wonders". they are empty and you are full. save us, please Lord. we need you more than even we can possibly imagine.